The Room
by livvie123321
Summary: Bella, the pack of werewolves the Cullens and the Volturi are in a special room where no one is allowed to curse...and there's that weird girl named Ice...
1. The Room

**I do not own Twilight or anything associated with it. **

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**Chapter 1: The room**

Edward paced the floor eying Bella angrily. "I can't believe you made us come here!" he shouted.

"Yeah Bella, what the fudge noodles is wrong with you?" Rosalie exclaimed. "What's so funny!" she asked a giggling Alice.

"You said fudge noodles." Alice answered.

Bella sighed and blushed. Like she always does. "Look I'm sorry. The brochure said, "Want to get your friends to stop cursing? Take them to the ROOM". I didn't know it was actually a room where we were not allowed to cuss!"

Emmett groaned. "Someone kill me. How long do we have to be in this box of a room?" The room was actually like a box. It was a square and small. Any claustrophobic person would have lost it in there.

Carlisle said, "Will you stop yapping? They said were in here for 6 hours."

Jaspers eyes flashed red. "6 hours?"

"Are you kidding me, what if I have to take a wiz?" Embry whined

Leah said, "There's a bucket in the corner." Jacob looked like he was going to barf.

Seth asked, "Every time one of us curses an extra hour is added on?" Everyone nodded. "That's fu - flipped up!" everyone eyed him angrily because he was about to slip up.

"Wait but why are we here? The volturi cannot be in a box with a pack of mutts." Jane said.

Sam growled, "Who you calling mutt? Who even invited you?" The two were face to face baring teeth.

"Wait, before any of us kill each other I'd like to say something." Everyone was silent as Aro, the leader spoke. "I get to suck Jacob's blood if he is killed."

"No way. You get the buff guys blood? I want him." Marcus yelled. Soon everyone started arguing about whose blood they get to suck.

"Oh hippie no! I get his blood." Caius said with attitude, "You seen this guy." He grabbed Jacob's arm. "Look at those muscles! He's got enough blood to hold me for 3 days."

Jacob looked at the the three vampires after his blood nervously, "Wait! Don't I get a say in this?"

Everyone yelled, "NO!"

"Pssh, rude!"

Esme stood up, "SHU... I mean please be quiet. If were in this box, I'd like all of us to survive peacefully if were going to survive at all." everyone nodded at her and there where some, "yes mom"'.

"YEEESSS ESSSMMEEE" Emmett said slower and louder than the rest of his family. everyone gave him a look.

"I call Sam's blood." Jane said after a while.

"Oh ham no! If someones going to suck my blood I'd rather it be Rosalie." Sam winks at Rosalie!

Emily jabs Sam with her elbow. Rosalie glares at him. Emmett finally caught on after a minute, "HEY!"

"Volturi circle!" Jane announces. The volturi assembles into a circle. A lot of whispering happens.

"The four of us have come to a decision. I Aro, king of vampires, will suck Bella and Seth's blood." Bella runs to Edward for protection.

He pushes her away. "Here you can have this butterflying two timer. Yeah dats right! I know about you and Vladimir Todd." Bella gave him a look. Seth grasped his own neck.

Aro continues, "Marcus will get Sam and Emily. Jane shall get Quil and Embry. Caius will get Jacob and Leah. And you Cullens no one wants to suck your blood because you dont have any, so its your lucky day." Jasper, Edward and Emmett high five.

"Wait, can no one die? I have to be home by 10 or my moms gonna kill me!" Seth exclaimed. Leah thumped him.

Jane answers: "We will think about it."

A Voice is heard from corner, "Will Jane really think about it?"

Everyone turns to corner to see a brown haired, brown eyed girl sitting there with a box of popcorn. The girl eats the popcorn nervously as she realizes everyone is looking at her. "That was supposed to be in my head..."

Edward asks, "Who the fudge noodles are you?" Alice giggled again. "Shut it Alice!"

The Girl twirled her long hair nervously. "Hi."

Seth steps up to her, "Why, hello. I'm Seth." Jacob smacks forehead.

the girl maked disgusted face. "I don't date werewolves."

Seth gives a disappointed face. "Then I will have to not be a werewolf."

Rosalie pushes Seth aside, "Enough with your love life. WHO ARE YOU? AND HOW ARE YOU HERE?"

the girl stands, "My name is...Ice."

Emmett grins, "Dat's tight! Awesome." Emmett immediately smacked Ice's hand and did some weird gangsta shake.

Rosalie mumbles, "Great a crazy human, Bella I found your twin." Edward laughed. Bella smacked him.

"Ow! So Ice how'd you get in here?" Edward asked

Ice points to a big tile on the wall, "That's a secret door. I snuck in." she said as if she was saying _the sky is blue_ "I love the Twilight gang!"

Everyone looks around confused. "The twilight gang?" Jacob asked.

Ice sneers at him. "Yes, your stupidness, you guys are characters in a book."

Everyone is confused. Seth asks, "What is this "book" you speak of? Are you from another dimension because here on planet earth we do not have books!"

All the werewolves smack there heads. Sam pulled him back, "Sorry he's a rookie!"

Ice rolled her eyes, "All werewolves are rookies!"

Quil and Embry took offense, "Excuse me?"

Ice closed her eyes, "Werewolves are so stupid. I'm team vampires for the win!" then as an after thought, "They're hotter."

Emmett gave a confused face, "But vampires can't be hot were cold like below freezing."

Ice winked at him. Carlisle shook his head, "Wait there's a secret door to get us out of here?"

Ice shook her head, "No its locked on the inside. You guys have to wait."

Everyone sighed, Aro asked, "What should we do with her?"

Jane said, "Add her to the eat list..."

Ice sits on a chair that was un-noticed and kicks her feet up on a table that was also un-noticed, "Nah I'd rather not."

Aro said, "Excuse me! Were vampires, your a mere mortal."

Ice replied, "I don't f-"

Jacob interrupted her before she can curse, "No you can't curse in here, an extra hour will be added."

"I can curse, I didn't sign a contract like you guys did saying that I wouldn't curse in this room. I snuck in without the staff seeing me so I didn't sign the contract." The girl explained.

"Contract?" Rosalie asked suspiciously.

Ice yawns. "Yeah THE ROOM CONTRACT, you sign it before you come in here."

"We didn't sign a contract." Jasper said. Everyone averts there eyes to Bella.

"Okay I forged all of your signatures." Bella admitted.

Marcus whimpers, "You forged my pony signature! What has the world come to where people forge other peoples pony signatures!" He bursts into tears.

Jane backs away from Marcus. "I say we all eat Bella now."

Every vampire and werewolf agrees.

Ice says, "Wait! You can't eat her she gets killed in the fourth book! You'll mess up the whole trilogy."

Bella screams, "What!"

Ice laughs, "JK you don't! I got you! You looked like you were going to wet your pants."

Bella wipes tears. Ice grins, "Okay I'm out." She walks to the wall and places her hand on the tile and disappears.

"What the fudge noodles?" Alice asked. Everyone glares at her.

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**And thats it so far...**

**Ice is a friend i added. sorta w/ out permision. but she knows now. lols!**

**go read her story :(no spaces)  
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http:/ www . fanfiction . net/s/6161393/1/The_Real_Volturi

**So, Whadaya think? **

**Review lets keep the comments G-rated. **


	2. Vamps VS Werewolves

**Chapter 2: Vamps VS. Werewolves**

Everyone was sitting on the floor mostly staring in hatred at Bella. Seth was sobbing quietly, "I didn't even get her phone number."

Jacob growled at him, "No one cares, all we know is she hates werewolves!"

Emmett grinned, "And loves vamps!"

"Shut your face Cullen!" Sam yelled

Jane sat there causing pain to random people. All of a sudden they heard a high pitched girly scream. "Stop it you psychotic vampire! This is why werewolves are better!" Sam yelled

Jane's eyes went wide, "Excuse me! Werewolves are smelly!"

"Well so are vampires!" Jacob contradicted

"But we smell good not like dogs, like Marcus over there, he smells like a rainforest." Aro pointed out.

Marcus shrugged. Jane looked at Marcus, "What are you doing? Stand up for your kind! Vampires are much better!"

Marcus shrugged again and said "But they're flippin wolves that can turn back to humans! Thats friggin awesome!" Jacob and Quill knuckle punch.

Jane looked at Marcus really hard. He just sits down. All of a sudden he takes out a phone. Everyone gasps! "I love the attention but what?" Marcus asked.

"You have a phone!" Carlisle accused.

Marcus laughs, "Oh you guys are mad retarded; it's the 21st century, everyone has a phone!"

Esme rolled her eyes, "No we mean you have a phone in here!"

"Dude we weren't supposed to bring phones, they wanted to make sure we couldn't call for help." Jacob said.

Marcus stared at his phone and his eyes open wide in terror. Suddenly everyone is around him trying to grab the phone. Marcus stuffed it in his pocket, "NO NO! NOT MY BABY!" The phone is grabbed out of his pocket as he sobs tearlessly.

Jane sighed, "DEAD BATTERY!" She threw it on the ground as Marcus watched in terror! She stomps it under her foot. Marcus sobs as he picks up the pieces. He looked up, "Why do the good have to die young?" He goes and sits in the corner rubbing his phone pieces.

Rosalie whispers to Emmett, "Drama queen." Emmett laughs. All the sudden Marcus's eyes turn a deep shade of red.

He stands up and yells, "You don't know what its like to lose something precious to you Miss Hale!"

"Actually I do." Rosalie stood up too.

Alice groans, "Here we go again. You lost your goldfish, bla bla bla!"

Rosalie yells in Alice's direction, "Shut it!" She pauses. "It was a cool summer night. I was mad cause Emmett," her eyes flash in Emmett's direction, "went hunting without me. It was only Alice and I. Alice was annoying the fudge noodles out of me," a giggle arises, "I went to the fair. A guy bet me I couldn't hit all three milk bottles. Well I did. My prize was a goldfish. His name was Goldie. I loved him and then I fed him all the animal blood I could. I woke in the morning he was floating in a pool of red, DEAD." She breaks down and sobs. Emmett pats her back.

Jane wipes tear, "I lost a cat once. His name was Count Catula and ..."

"Oh boo hoo shut up! You lost a pet. Now can we just suffer the next 5 hours in complete silence." Embry cut her off.

Seth raised a finger, "The highest I've gone without talking is 2 minutes and even that was a struggle for me."

"Wait can we eat him first?" Aro asked.

Seth cowered. Aro reached over to eat him but Carlisle jumped in front of him.

Carlisle muttered, "Yo Aro king of vampires whatever the heck you call yourself. They have cameras all over this room. Vampires will be sought out if you eat him." He pauses. "I say we eat him once were outside."

Esme gasps in shock, "What about your perfect record of never sucking a humans blood!"

Carlisle yells, "I don't flippin care bout my record! I'm tired of drinking animal blood its disgusting! I want to suck a human's blood."

Aro patted Carlisle's back, "I'm proud of you." He wiped a invisible tear.

Carlisle rolled eye, "Now don't get all sappy on me. It'll ruin your reputation."

Aro nods and bulks up. Caius takes out an ipod and plugs in his headphones. Everyone gapes at him. Alice asks, "You have an ipod? With music?"

Caius stared at her, "Yeah, no duh, ipods are supposed to have music."

Everyone looks at Bella. "We were allowed to bring music?" Quill asked.

"Yeah." Bella said as if it was the most obvious thing.

"But in the email you said to bring nothing but ourselves." Jacob growled.

Bella looked around nervously. "Wait wait wait! You sent out an email, I got it on facebook, so did the rest of the volturi." Jane said. Bella started to twirl her hair, "You didn't want them to know the volturi was coming, did you?"

Bella started humming a song by Justin Bieber. Edward turned to her outraged, "You did what now! And stop humming. You suck at humming anyway!"

Bella frowned. "Shut up Edward! You suck at everything. Like that time you tried to paint that fire truck! It looked like a flippin bird!"

"It was a bird, you adolescent idiot." Edward rolled his eyes at her.

Bella looked at him, "Do not use big words with me!"

"This is better than cable," Seth whispered to Jacob. Everyone but Bella and Edward were sitting on one side of the room eating popcorn.

Edward finally noticed them, "The flip? Where'd you get the popcorn?"

Seth was the one to answer, "There's a microwave in the corner and I brought like 12 bags of popcorn." He shook his head chuckling.

Edward goes back to Bella but only after muttering something about werewolves being fat.

Bella caught that, "What did you say about Jacob? That he's fat. Oh, Hades no!"

"Look at the dude why do you think his muscle is so fat!" Edward exclaimed/

"You've been looking at him. I find that awkward. And also you sound like a teenage girl right now." Bella replied.

Shut up Isabella! Yeah thats right I went there."

Bella glared. Suddenly her mood changed. All of a sudden, she is happy and in love. "Jasper, stop it! Do not mess with our fight!"

Edward is staring at Bella passionately but his words are coming out angry. "Yeah, Jasper not cool."

Bella smiles at Edward, "I love you cupcake."

Jane yells, "Boo, this sucks eggs!"

Rosalie said, "I wanted to see the mortal get torn apart." Everyone starts throwing popcorn at the two lovebirds.

, "Wait vampires can't eat human food why are you vamps even eating it." Edward asked

Jane answered, "Oh us vampires aren't eating it. We're using it for throwing." She throws a handful at Edward as to prove her point.

Edward saw red, "You son of a mother lover! It's time to die." The two start wrestling.

"Go Eddy!" Bella yelled. She smiled with glee.

All the werewolf boys high-five. Jacob yelled over the loudness of the wrestling, "This is so pro!"

Seth says, "this is just like the WWE. But no one is bleeding!"

"They can't bleed! They're vampires," Emmett yelled. Him and Jasper high five.

Alice and Rosalie start doing each others nails and fixing each others hair.

Jane and Edward stop wrestling. Edwards gasps for breath.

"What did you do to him?" Bella asked worried

"Pain," was all Jane said as Edward struggled with himself.

Bella smacked Jane, "Stop it."

Jane is astounded. "You son of a mother lover. You smacked me!"

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**Tune in to find out what happens next! **

**Also if you want to be in the story like Ice(laffy-taffy0401) who suddenly appeared tell me and I'll add you I don't have a lot to work with so don't go crazy! **

**REVIEW! **


	3. Truth or Dare

**Chapter 3: Truth or Dare**

After Edward had restrained Jane from killing Bella, everyone (Volturi members, cullens, and the pack of werewolves) were sitting on the floor, bored out of there minds. They had 4 hours and 30 minutes left in the room.

"I'm bored." Seth finally announced.

"Why thank you captain dork." Jane said.

"You're supposed to say captain obvious." Rosalie said.

Jane took it the wrong way, "I'm not captain obvious! And right now if I could curse you'd be wishing you'd never met me."

Rosalie pretended to be scared, "Ooo would you look who's threatening me! Miss big bad I can cause you pain by looking at you. I think the reason you cause people pain is because when they see your face it hurts."

Jane's eyes turned extremely red. "You take that back," then she started to sing, "I'm beautiful in every single way, words can't bring me down, no oh, don't you bring me..." Everyone cowered.

Edward yelled, "Stop the madness! Oh its like an owl with a mouse stuck in its throat."

"I used to like that song." Alice mumbled.

Jane wore a hurtful expression. She was right about to curse them out when a teenage mortal girl appeared behind her. The girl had long black hair four rings on one hand and a huge smile.

Jane was about to curse when Edward clamped his hand over her mouth. Esme asked, "Who are you child?"

The girl rolled her eyes, "I'm no child lady, I'm Fire! World wide phenomenon."

"I've never heard of you." Carlisle said.

"YES! You just like the Ice girl before you." Emmett goes to slap her hand. But she pulled back.

Fire was appalled. "Do not touch me you disgusting vampire!" Caius stared at her as though he is in love. "What are you staring at?"

Caius goes to her to kiss her hand. "Hello my name is Caius."

"you have a wife" Someone said in the background.

Fire shakes her head, "No your name is ugly because that's what you are." Fire strides around like she owns the place. She looks at Rosalie, "Get up, dirty vamp."

Rosalie glared at her, "I'm not getting up."

Jacob mutters, "Rosalie just get up." Rosalie stands up glaring at the girl the whole time.

Fire sits down. "Thank you, handsome, hot, werewolf! I'm forever in your debt." She winks at him.

Emmett shakes his head, "Ice liked vampires and Seth liked Ice. Fire likes werewolves and Caius likes Fire. This is just like dat play with the fairy, you know, the one shake-his-spear wrote?"

Rosalie glares at him. He grins at her. "I love you?"

Fire rolls her eyes, "Idiot!"

Rosalie's eyes flash red. "No one calls Emmett an idiot except for me!"

Emmett smiles, "Thanks babe! HEY!"

"Vampires are boring! I have an idea! Let's play truth or dare!" Fire exclaimed.

"Yeah I can finally dare Marcus to lick the walls!" Jane agreed.

"Okay! Everyone get in a circle around me!" Fire said. A misshapen circle formed.

"Jacob, I'm sitting by Bella!" Edward yelled.

"Nuh-uh! ME! I knew Bella first." Jacob argued.

"She loved me first!"

Bella blushed. She whispered something in Alice's ear only to be slapped. Alice says, "Yo three year olds! Bella will sit by Rosalie and I! Edward, Jacob, go somewhere else!" The two boys reluctantly got up and walked away.

Suddenly Fire went over to Bella and whispers in her ear, "Bella there is still a chance for you, love the werewolf not the vampire."

Bella looked at Fire, "I'm sorry I love Edward."

Fire sighed, "Fine then we can never be friends!" Fire than stood in the middle of the circle, "Okay here's how its going to go. I will pick the first person who will then pick someone else to be either truth or dared. Once the person who was truthed or dared is finished, then it will be there turn to pick someone. Starting it off Jacob how bout you you go."

Jacob said, "This is retarded but whatever. Bella, truth or dare?"

"Truth?" it came out like a question.

Jacob kept going, "Would you rather have me or Edward sitting by you right now?"

Bella rolled her eyes, "Would you let it go?"

Jacob growled, "Answer the question!"

Bella grinned ready to irritate Jacob, "Edward." Jacob glared at her. "Rosalie, truth or dare?" Bella asked.

Rosalie shrugged, "I'm always up for a good dare."

Bella grinned, "Kiss Quil."

Rosalie shook her head, "Eww! I'm not kissing a dog!"

Quil looked at Bella, "I ain't kissing no bloodsucker!"

Emmett stood up, "She ain't kissing a mutt! He's all dirty and revolting"

Quil rolled his eyes and growled, "Who you calling dirty and revolting?"

Fire groaned, "I knew this would happen. Werewolves need to get there own books away from these dirty bloodsuckers and you Bella I would have expected more." Fire turns her head away in disappointment. Caius has taken this to heart.

Caius screams, "Fire! What does he," he points at Jacob, "have that I don't have? I'm gorgeous!"

Fire mumbles something about how dramatic vampires can be. "Jacob is his name and he has everything; warmth, strength," she starts to swoon, "hair, muscles, a gorgeous smiles, oh yeah and he doesn't suck blood!"

Caius frowns, "What do you have against sucking blood!"

Fire answers while staring at her black fingernails, "Hello I'm a vegetarian and eww, it stains your teeth. I can't go to my concert with red teeth."

Jane mutters, "Yo hippie girl, world lover whatever the fudge noodles you are! Have you ever heard of this thing called a toothbrush or maybe toothpaste! OR how about a dentist! Us vampires make monthly appointments to get our teeth bleached.

Fire mutters, "I'm very happy for you! But you're a psycho. You go around saying, "pain" and causing random people pain. I mean you sound mentally retarded when you say "pain" with a demented look in your ugly red eyes. Get some contacts freak." Fire turns away, busy staring at her rings.

Jane is about to run up and attack her when Aro pulls her back and whispers, "Cameras."

Jane understands and sits down with a furious growl. Marcus mutters, "Someone has major emotional issues," Jane pointed at his broken phone pieces and he started to sob.

Jacob stares in hate at Bella and Edward who are close together giggling. Suddenly a voice comes out from the wall, "Hello, this is Mr. Boring. I'm in charge of this room. Ya'll have 4 hours left in there. I thought I should give u a heads up. Also I noticed no one has used the can, umm never mind." The voice leaves the room.

The werewolves start to laugh. "Mr. Boring; that's pathetic," Jasper said.

Emmett sayed, "I wish I was a werewolf. You guys are flippin awesome."

Marcus noded, "Dats what I'm saying G!"

Emmett is confused like normal, "My name is Emmett not G!"

Marcus understands, "I'll call you E."

Emmett nods. "I got a nickname!" Him and Marcus high five.

All the sudden Jane starts singing, "Never imagined, we'd end like this..." She realizes everyone is staring at her.

Jacob has tears in his eyes, "That was beautiful..."

Bella groans, "Great the pyschotic vampire can sing! Woo hoo."

Jane turned away from the group, making it all dramatic. "Yeah singing is my hidden talent. Before I was turned into a vamp I wanted to be a country music singer, but den dat dang vamp came along and bit me and I got sucked into the blood sucking business."

Seth says, "You just punned..." Jane gave him a look, "Sorry thought I should point it out."

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**REVIEW! LOLZ I THOUGHT I SHOULD BRING FIRE IN SHES MY OTHA BFF! HER AND ICE MAY MEET IN THE NEXT CHAPTER IF YOU REVIEW!**

**NOW THERES STILL TIME TO BE IN LATER CHAPTERS REVIEW TELLL ME WHAT U WANT TO BE AND ALSO THE SONG JANE STARTS TO SING**

**IS "LAST KISS" BY THE AMAZING TAY TAY SWIFT**

**PEACE OUT **


	4. Fire VS Ice

**Chapter 4: Ice vs. Fire**

Everyone stared at Seth. Then all of a sudden their frequent staring was interrupted, Ice appeared in front of them. Ice had bags in her hands. Ice studied the group then noticed Fire, "I leave for 2 hours and come back and you have a new human friend!" Ice hands the bags to Emmett, "Here Emmett hold these, sweetie." She walks over to Fire and sniffed her once, "Even worse a werewolf lover!"

Fire is insulted. She asked, "Excuse me who the flipping pancakes are you?"

Ice answered with a flip of her hair, "I'm Ice, number one vampire lover, who the fudge pieces are you?"

Fire rolled her eyes, "Number one vampire lover?" She chuckled laughing at how someone could love a vampire. She threw her arms up in a dramatic pose, "I'm Fire, worldwide international pop star and number one werewolf lover!"

Ice grinned, "I've never heard of Fire. In which world are you an international pop star? Your head? And your head must be pretty messed up if you love werewolves." A grunt is heard from Sam.

Fire threw off her coat, "Wanna start something, bloodsucker lover."

Ice said, "Let's go wolf lover!"

"Mosquito hugger."

"Wolf runner." Everyone is sitting on the side of the wall except Ice and Fire. De ja vu. And this time they all hold sandwiches.

Fire looks at them, "You brought them lunch? You're pathetic."

Ice rolls her eyes, "What did you bring them?"

Fire answered like it was the most obvious thing, "My presence! DUH!" She flipped her hair dramatically. "Who wants to hear me sing?" A chorus of "whatevers" and "sure loser" echoed through. Suddenly a spotlight is on Fire and a microphone is in her hand.

Fire took a breath, "Yo my names Fi-fi Fire. I like to rap and you can take that back. Your momma's house is not like mine, I'm learning all the time." Tomatoes were suddenly thrown at her.

Marcus yelled, "I'm so much better than this!" Suddenly he was in the spotlight and Fire is on the floor. He looked down at Fire and went to grab her hand; he pulls the microphone out of her hand. "Yo my names Marcillez its rhymes with t-swizzle, I like to dance all the time and that's not a lie, I'll pwn you once and pwn you twice ya'll are haters so go suck on rice." He started dancing a strange twisted dance.

Jacob groaned. "It burns!" Everyone closed their eyes and are stunned to see when they open there eyes him in sparkly pink pants dancing around.

Alice says, "Marcus where'd you get those? They'd go with my summer wardrobe. I love them. There so fab!"

Marcus glowered at her then pulled the pants off, "Here you can have them so I don't look strange."

Edward muttered under his breath, "Too late." Under the pink sparkly pants Marcus had some tight, way to tight jeans.

Jacob muttered, "Dang man! How you fit in those!"

Marcus groaned, "I'm not anorexic and to prove it I'll pull off these pants." Underneath the pants he's got another pair but there just normal jeans.

Sam stared at him, "Dang dude how many pairs do you have on?"

Marcus says, "I never get a break working with the Volturi so I wear a lot of pants in case a pair gets dirty."

All the sudden Jasper said, "What did I miss?"

Alice asked, "What do you mean miss, you were right here?"

Jasper laughed, "No I wasn't I had to take a leak. You know they have no hand sanitizer in this place." Everyone stepped away. He pulled out a wipe, "its okay, I always bring back up wipes because Alice likes to drag me to stores without public restrooms."

Alice muttered, "Sometimes."

Jasper said, "And they don't even have soap."

Alice groaned, "They have soap dumb butt."

Jasper said, "Whatever major loser." He makes the hand signals over his head.

Marcus muttered under his breath, "And they say I'm the weird one."

Jasper said, "Don't start with me, I know about the pink sparkly pants!"

Marcus gasped, "But you were taking a wiz. How would you possibly know?"

Jasper pulled out a cell phone. "Caius updated his twitter. See he tweeted, "Omigoodness, Marcuzzzzz my lame bro has on pink sparkly pants."

Caius stood against the wall biting his lip. Jane yelled outraged, "You both brought cell phones! Okay put your hands up if you have a cell phone with you!" Caius and Jaspers hands go up. Then everyone else's but Bella, Jane and Marcus are the only ones standing without their hands up.

Marcus gruffed, "I had a phone and we had a happy life together! Then someone STOMPED, literally stomped all over our life."

Jacob shrugged his shoulders, "Save it Marcus. What's the point?"

Bella said, "I can't believe you brought cell phones when I told you in the email..."

Jane interrupted, "You mean facebook!"

"Shut up Jane! Not to bring cell phones."

Edward grinned, "And sit with you all day. Vampires have been around a long time and technology is very important to us."

Carlisle said, "Yeah dude! Check out this phone its flipping circular and square!"

Esme looks at him weirdly, "Did you just say "dude"?"

Carlisle rubbed his neck awkwardly, "Well yeah... I thought it was the appropriate time to say umm... never mind..."

Caius was on the floor rubbing a picture of Fire. Fire noticed and asked outraged, "Where did you get that picture!"

Caius put the picture in his pocket nervously, "It was in your wallet, which smells beautifully by the way, like you." He grinned.

Suddenly Caius's phone rings. He answered, "Hello?"

Felix said on the other end, "Dude! You keep hitting on Fire! What about your wife?"

Caius turned the phone on speaker. "How do you know I'm hitting on Fire? You're not even here!"

Felix laughed. "Jacob updated his twitter."

Caius asked awkwardly, "You follow Jacob on twitter?"

Felix said, "Umm no and I'm telling your wife!" The line goes dead.

Fire goes to Caius and smacked him, "You're hitting on me and yet you have a wife. What the fudge crackers is wrong with you!"

Caius grinned at her, "I'll never let this cheek properly heal." He rubbed the cheek she smacked.

Jane groaned, "Eww gross."

Jacob was sitting in the corner rocking back and forth. Bella regards him, "What's wrong with you?"

Jacob muttered, "Felix is following my twitter, I find that weird."

Edward laughed, "Yeah Felix doesn't even follow my twitter. Looks like Felix has a..."

Jacob interrupted by punching Edward in the face. Edward falls on the floor out cold. Bella and Jane immediately go to him. Bella looks at Jane, "What are you doing here?"

Jane drops Edwards's head which she was cradling in her hands, "Umm nothing."

Bella pushed her away, "Oh Eddy my vampire. Are you okay?"

All the werewolf boys and Marcus and Emmett are high-fiving Jacob. Jacob is grinning at all the attention. Seth said, "Dude! You just knocked out a vampire!"

They are interrupted by Ice. She came up to Jacob. "YOU KNOCKED OUT A VAMPIRE! OH HADES NO!"

Jacob groaned, "Look Ice, I'm sorry he was making me mad."

Ice said a random thing, "Your face makes me mad!"

Jacob gasped, "How could you say that to me!"

Seth backed him up. He put his arm on Jacobs shoulder although he has to stand on his tippy toes. "Yeah how could you say that to him?" He mouthed to Jacob, "I got your back."

Jacob grabbed Seth's arm and takes it off his shoulder.

Fire noticed the time, "Crud! You guys have like 3 hours and 30 mins left. I got a concert at 7! I got to go. Buy werewolves!" She regards the vampires, "Bye bloodsuckers."

She went to the wall and placed her hand on the tile and disappeared.

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**REVIEW! STILL TIME TO BE BROUGHT IN! GIVE ME IDEAS! JANE AND BELLA MAY HAVE A BATTLE OVER EDWARD (HES STILL Unconscious)**

**btw, i put up a poll! go check it out  
**


	5. Boredom gets the Best of You

**Chapter 5: Boredom got the best of you**

There was 3 hours left in the room. Everyone was bored. I mean extremely bored. Ice was so bored and the vampires were so bored of her that she was talking to Embry. Embry was explaining how he wasn't an herb, "No I'm not an herb. My name is just Embry."

Ice yawned. Embry said, "Your breath smells."

"So does your mom's" Ice suddenly walked over to Bella and flicked her then ran away. Bella turned around to see Jane behind her.

"DID YOU JUST FLICK ME?" Bella screamed at Jane

Jane stood up, "The fudge pieces? I didn't flick you."

"Yeah you did. I felt a flick and then I turned around and you were sitting there." Bella argued.

"I'd been sitting here for 30 minutes! I didn't flick you. If I were going to do something I would bite you."

"I'm telling Edward." She called, "EDWARD!" She turned around to see him still lying unconscious on the floor. "Jacob! Are you sure you didn't kill him."

Jacob shrugged, "Vampires can't die. You kill a vampire by tearing them to pieces and burning the pieces."

Bella gave him a shocked look, "Did you look that up or something?"

"Nooooo..." Jacob shifted uncomfortably.

Seth patted Jacob's back, "Yeah you did. You were reading that book, "How to kill a vampire who stole the girl-you-love's heart"."

"Shut up, Seth." Jacob muttered, and then he put Seth in a headlock. "Don't you just love kids?" He scratched Seth head while punching him in the stomach.

Seth fell on the ground face white, "Ugh..." he said between gasps of breath, "never annoy..." breath, "a werewolf."

Jacob sits down. "What is up with you today? You knocked out my Eddykins and you just beat up mini Jacob." Bella said.

"Nuh uh! He's not mini Jacob. Mini Jacob is Superman." Jacob posed as Superman.

Bella laughed, "Keep dreaming!" She is interrupted by a girl appearing.

Esme screamed, "Are you flipping kidding me! Mr. Boring! How are these kids getting in! And why can't you send a male underwear model or something!"

Carlisle looked at her, "You'd rather have a male model who models underwear over me?"

Esme sighed, "Yes I would."

Carlisle screamed outraged, "But you've never seen me in my undies!"

Esme rolled her eyes, "That's the problem." Carlisle started to pull his pants off.

All the boys scream like girls... Edward said, "Cheese forbid! Please don't I beg you Dad."

"You're alive!" Bella ran up and hugged him. He patted her awkwardly.

"I have a pair of pants under these anyway." Carlisle said

Marcus grinned, "See I'm not the only one!"

Seth interrupted, "Ice can I have yo numba?"

Ice looked at him, "Yeah sure..." She took out a piece of paper and a pen. Seth grinned. She writes on it then handed it to him. Seth opened it.

Seth frowned, "Yeah… these are letters not numbas, I'm not that dumb ya know!"

"Spell them out for everyone else." Ice instructed

Seth sighed, "Fine! But I wanted your numba to be a secret between us." He looks at the piece of paper in his hands. "S E T H!" He laughed, "Hey that's me!" he continued, "Y O U A R E S U C H A L O S A! L I K E I'D G I V E Y O U M Y N U M B A! E M M E T T C A L L ME!" "What does that mean?"

Jacob sighed, "Dude she doesn't want you."

Seth screamed, "What does it say! I'm not good with my A B E's."

"Seth you are such a loser! Like I'd give you my numba! Emmett call me." Sam said.

Seth gaped, "Sam! How could you say that to me! And since when were you and Emmett having a bromance."

"No dude that's what Ice said."

Seth zoned out, "Ice said what?"

"Jacob please knock him out?" Sam asked. Jacob punched Seth in the face. Seth sprawled on his back.

Everyone goes back to sitting except Emmett. Emmett stood up and walked over to Seth.

Rosalie screamed, "Tell me this isn't a Snow White scene!"

"No! I'm gonna draw on his face with a marker." He pulled out a marker and got busy working on the face with the marker. "I'm gonna make him a pirate."

Everyone has forgotten about the girl who appeared until Edward saw her and said, "Who the fudge noodles are you? And why do I have a splitting headache." He fell back into dream land.

"Aww, you just woke up" Bella whined

"Yeah who are you?" Quil repeated.

The girl answered with a mischievous smile, "A twilight hater."

"Why you hate? I think twilights are pretty. All dark and stuff." Sam said.

The girl flipped her ponytail, "Not a twilight, the twilight series!"

Bella muttered, "Oh yeah Ice says were part of that series. So that means..." She gasps in shock, "You're from the future!"

The girl shook her head, "Oh poor, innocent, loser, stupid..." Bella gets a shock on her face, "dumb, idiotic, a disappointment, worth nothing, deserves nothing..."

Alice groaned, "Are you done yet?"

The girl continued, "Almost. Terrifying super ugly, strange, weird, oh and a fudge noodler."

"What is up with that word?" Rosalie screamed.

"My name is Twilighthater2135x3." The girl said

"That's a long name." Caius said.

"What kind of lint licking name is that!" Bella asked.

"The best name in the world." Twilighthater2135x3 muttered

"Okay so ." Quill said

Twilighthater2135x3 muttered, "You know what forget it! Just call me Mimi."

"You sound like a cat, meow." Emmett commented

Aro muttered, "Emmett can you shut up?"

Emmett laughed, "I totally forgot you were here, Aro! How you doin, Mr. Vampire King. Wait no don't tell me I already know how you doing. You hate it here because my stupid almost sister led us all here on a Saturday. I was supposed to be at the game arcade making money off of pool but no I'm in a room that if I said a bad word I'll be stuck here even longer!"

"Are you done!" Bella shouted

"Was sup Mimi!" Ice said.

"Long time no see Ice."

"You two know each other?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah, we went to school with each other." Mimi said

Emmett screamed, "Shut up Isabella Swan. You know you're not even beautiful like a swan, you're more like an ugly duckling."

"My mom always read me that story..." Bella muttered.

Edward is suddenly awaked sitting up, "Now you know why..."

Bella was astonished, "You're awake again!"

Edward stood up and walked over to Jacob, "You stupid wolf you could've killed me."

Bella cutted in, "No you can't kill a vampire by punching them in the face. You have to tear them to pieces and burn them." She fiddled with her nails.

Edward looked at her and gasped, "Did you look that up or something!"

"No the one that knocked you in the face did!"

Rosalie twirled her hair, "Bella looked it up..."

Bella growled, "Rosalie get a life, you know play the game of life!"

Edward laughed, "That's a board game..."

Bella yelled, "Your face is a board game!"

Edward grinned and winked, "Which one?"

"That doesn't even make sense!"

"Dum de dum de dum." Alice sang.

Bella said, "STFNU EDWARD!

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**Sooooooooooo... room in later chapters come on people I need ideas! Also they have like 2 hours left in the room... so like 4 more chaps and then I might take it out of the room like someone goes on a rampage for having to be stuck in a room for so long!but its gonna take a while because school work is loading up and education comes first. stay in school kids!**

**reveiw!  
**


	6. Really Long Title

**Chapter 6: A shock! No not really, we all knew it was gonna happen sooner or later (AKA LONG CHAPTER NAME)**

An hour and a half later. Bella and Edward were arguing over what board game he was.

Ice cleared her throat and the room seemed to settle down. Ice announced, "Mimi has shown me a different way to life! I have gone through the past teen years of my life worshipping you guys. And you guys are just dramatic."

Jasper gasped, then takes a breath, "I always knew it."

"Drama put the cat in the barrel." Alice said

Rosalie looked at her weirdly, "What cat and what barrel."

"The ice cream truck ran over the cat." Alice whispered demonically

Ice interrupted, "I was talking here!" Alice drew an ice cream cone and held it up. "As I was saying, yeah I don't like any of ya'll anymore."

Embry said, "I knew it. What do people have against herbs?" he got a lot of stares, "Which I'm not. PSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."

Ice just walked away with Mimi and they both disappeared.

"Great there is no one interesting here." Edward said, everyone agreed.

They sat there for a second, no one moving or talking or biting. Suddenly Aro started bawling.

Jane looked around nervously. "No, the vampire king is not crying. It is fake tears. You all are in a dream." She waved her hands around making weird gestures.

Emmett muttered, "What kind of a dream is this?"

"A nightmare." Rosalie mumbled

Aro wiped the "fake" tears. "It's just… No one ever likes us. The outcasts, we are. I mean we're vampires," he points at Jacob and the pack, "You guys are werewolves." He looks at Bella, "Your just plain weird and dramatic. I mean come on; you mope like someone just told you that Edward was made of... Whatever he is made of."

Bella smiled, "Sparkles and a hot face."

Edward rubbed his neck nervously, "Yeah I wanted to talk to you about that. Every morning I put on glitter and umm I did Botox."

"I knew it! No guy is born with a face like that! I bet all you vampire dudes did Botox!" Jacob screamed

Emmett rubs his face, "I don't know. I just woke up as a vampire and my face was awesome."

Carlisle patted his face, "It's genetic."

Esme rolled her eyes and muttered, "Yeah, it is confusing. Why are vampires so beautiful and normal and humans so ugly? No offense Bella."

Bella smiled, "I get it a lot."

There was an hour and 30 minutes left in the room. Marcus started pacing the floor.

"Marcus what's up?" Edward asked,

Marcus growled, "I can't take it anymore," and punched the wall. A little crack surfaced. All the suddenly, Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase and Grover appeared. _(I do not own anything from Percy Jackson and the Olympians series) _

Percy Jackson gazed around, "Crap guys, this isn't Olympia! Grover, where'd you take us!" Grover pulled out a goat device.

Grover gave a frown, "Woops were in Forks, Washington. We're supposed to be in New York City."

"Idiot," Annabeth muttered and disappeared. Pretty soon it was just the Twilight gang again.

Rosalie said, "Wait isn't that the dude who rules the water, he's Greek or something. Isn't that his son?"

"Idiot." Bella muttered

Edward rolled his eyes, "Yes blonde. You're really living up to your hair color today."

Emmett laughed. Rosalie gave him a death glare. "Sorry Hun." he said nervously

Jasper grabbed at his hair trying to hide it. "What do you have against blondes, Edward?"

"I prefer red heads." Edward muttered

Bella screamed outraged, "What! You like Victoria!"

Edward looked around nervously. "No..."

Bella frowned, "That's why you took so much pleasure in killing James. You knew Victoria would be yours."

Edward said. "Look who's finally getting it."

"So you don't want me to marry you?" Bella asked

Edward says, "Well..." he gives a frown. Bella's eyes fill with tears, "Of course I do stupid! I was just pulling your leg! Victoria is ugly."

Caius cut in, "Victoria? Like red head Victoria?" Edward nodded. "Man that chick is hot! She's on fire and it's not just because of her hair color!" He started singing, "Ice ice fire..." His eyes got big. "Fire..." tears flooded in, "My beautiful Fire who prefers the dogs over me!" He glared at Jacob.

"Here we go again..." Aro groaned

Caius turned his glare to Aro, "What do you mean old man? Here we go again where?"

Aro sighed, "This is exactly what happened with your wife! You were in love with someone else then realized you loved her."

Caius sat down and didn't speak.

Jasper was busy manipulating peoples mind. All of a sudden, Jacob punched Caius in the face. Caius fell on the floor knocked unconscious. Bella screamed, "Jacob what is wrong with you?"

Jacob was in shock. "I don't know this feeling came over me." Everyone turned their eyes to Jasper.

Jasper shrugged, "I was bored?"

Everyone muttered, "Okay" and went back to what they were doing.

**

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OKAY so this was a short chapter. I've been gone for a while; I didn't come on cuz I didn't feel like it. JK! CALM DOWN! I was busy. Also check out hannahcaiusvolturis story DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS it's really good I helped write it. And if your into Mortal Instruments, check out Laffy-Taffy0401's story: THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES  
**

**PEACE OUT! REVIEW! less than three!**


	7. Caius's Song

**Chapter 7: Caius's song**

Everyone was bored waiting for the hour of torture to be up. Alice was fixing her nails and kept zoning in and out into the future and back to the present. Rosalie was giving herself a pep talk about being gorgeous. Emmett was flexing his muscles. Esme was complaining to Carlisle about him not being a male underwear model and the werewolves, well no one cared.

All the sudden Caius started singing,

"_Hey there Alice_

_whats it like at your palace?_

_ That's right your not in the volturi _

_like me, _

_maybe if u would join the volturi. _

_Oh join the volturi, _

_oh join the volturi, _

_oh join the volturi,_

_oh join the volturi. _

_Hey there Alice _

_why won't you join our group? _

_A pyschic is needed if you wanted to be the bestest_

_ yes its true,_

_I'm not driving a car how bout you?_

_Oh yeah thats right,_

_ your not in the volturi_

_you should join the volturi, _

_oh join the volturi oh join the volturi._

_Volterra is pretty huge _

_you'd have your own wing and a booth _

_so you could drink blood everyday. _

_And the volturi will never be the same_

_and your to blame. _

_Hey there Alice..._" (PARODY by yours truly OF HEY THERE DELILAH BY THE PLAIN WHITE TEES) All the sudden Jacob punched him in the face and once again knocked unconscious.

Everyone turned to Jasper, "He was flirting with my woman!"

Jacob took out a piece of paper and a pen, "Check!"

"What are you doing?" Bella asked

Jacob grinned. "Writing how many people I have knocked out today." Bella took the list.

"Edward once, Seth once and hes still out, Caius twice and wait are you doodling my name and your name in hearts?"

"Pssh, no!" he snatched the paper out of her hands and shoved it into his pockets.

All the sudden Caius's beeper that was in his pocket went off. Alice took the beeper and read what the message said: "Caius? Did it work? Is Alice going to join the Volturi? From Demetri."

Emmett grabbed the beeper out of Alice's hand. "Prank message." He explained as he wrote: "She said yes, she also said she loved u. get over here as quick as possible."

Alice screamed, "What is wrong with you?"

AN HOUR LATER:

A door to the room opened and a fat short man with a pedo-stache walked in. (OMG ITS MARIO!) He smiled at everyone, "I'm Mr. Boring and you guys are free to lea..." he never finished for he was trampled as everyone ran out of the room.

Everyone stood outside the building. They looked at each other.

"I feel like we're forgetting something." Esme said. Everyone shrugged.

Carlisle said, "Well us Cullens and Bella must be getting home." Everyone shrugged and then the Cullens got into their expensive cars and drove away. The werewolves looked at each other.

Then Sam said, "Well umm, were gonna go out for coffee. We'll see you vulture dudes when we fight again." And then they all morphed into wolves and ran away.

The volturi stood around when Aro finally mumbled. "I feel unpopular. I mean we have nothing to do. They are getting coffee."

"I have an idea, lets go back to our castle in Italy." Jane suggested exasperatedly.

Aro sat on the ground and frowned, "Nah it just won't be the same." Jane grabbed him by the arms and dragged him away.

**EPILOGUE: **

Seth and Caius awoke in a room with the lights turned on. Mr. Boring was sitting in the corner reading a newspaper. Caius yelled, "HOLY CRAP! IT'S MARIO!"

Mr. Boring muttered, "That's another hour."

**

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I know im upset too.

**ITS OVER! my first story on fanfic and my last... **

**JK! lolol but i still am helping to write dirty little secrets on hannahcaiusvolturi's account. Please check it out or or or I won't be ur friend anymore! D: **

**Okay well I'll miss you all and mr. boring has a brother named Mr. Dull and he's luigi! **

**Demetris got the hots for alice ;)! **

**Okay well... UR AN APPLE! REVIEW! **


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